Something Profound

Everyone in my life is like done with their education, settling into an awesome and easy job that they can leave at the end of the day, receive a nice little paycheck and have fun. I’m here overwhelmed with school, broke and unable to leave my homework at the end of the day. Right now, I feel a little envious for the simplified work schedules. They don’t have to think about writing a paper for a grade or researching academic things. They get to do those things for fun and they get paid for it. 

Dear past almost,

   I see that we’ve finally disconnected from one another. It’s only taken 1,460 days to cut all of our ties. I said a final goodbye to an alternate life ending early this morning when I noticed that we were no longer associated with one another. Our history has finally been buried and I feel strangely reborn. 

We almost built something together. We had the faint outline of grand city plans, with sparkling pillars to support the dream. We almost had a real grasp on what it means to commit oneself to another, working to pursue the happiest ending to the sweetest story. We almost had these things, except that we didn’t. We didn’t understand one another and we didn’t communicate well. We couldn’t fix the crumbling foundation that we chose for our bright future. As a result, our future dimmed and we abandoned the prospects of the shining city upon a hill. We left one another in search of something different. 

Several times over these past four years, you’ve chosen to reach out to me. I have chosen not to respond. I was so afraid of being trapped inside of the city you wanted to build for us that I fled far away. I met someone new, as did you.  I’m not entirely certain of where you are in your life, but i’d like to let you know that I am building something special with this person. He and I are laying the foundation for a city so grand and beautiful that what we have will never be questioned, like the infinite ways that you and I questioned the very nature of our relationship. 

I hope that you do well in life. I hope that you reach beyond your dreams and achieve everything that you want. I want you to be happy. You and I no longer need a friendship or a relationship with one another. I’m okay with becoming a distant and faint memory. I think that i’ve been distorted enough anyway so I don’t mind fading deeper into the darkness of the past as new horizons light your future. I hope that you continue to focus on the future instead of the past. I surely do.  

Sincerely,

Your first almost. 

  Hello again lovely friends,

I believe that it’s been a few years and while I was away, I was out discovering the beauty of life and all of the things that it has to offer me. You see, when I started this blog, I was jaded and overwhelmed with work and school and the little time and money that I had for friends and fun. Now that i’m older, i’ve started piecing together who I am and who I want to be. I’m not completely whole yet, but i’ve found a goal and vision so i’m on my way. 

This year, I want to travel, explore and really pursue what i’m meant for. I’m going to continue posting art because I believe that creating is the very essence of our core. We are meant for creation and so that will continue to be the theme of my blog. 

Although my theme hasn’t changed, I would like to say that my perspective has changed, or rather, deepened. I am a few years older and a little more mature. I feel like i’m actually becoming an adult and so i’m inviting you back into my life, to embark upon the what will unfold in the next chapter. I don’t want to spoil it for you, well i’m not even sure what will happen but if we can find out together, it could be something profound. 

XOXO